Early in the morning many women are kissing their children good-bye with a smile on their face but rivers of guilt overflow inside from the momentary departure. Guilt of, Is my child cheated because I am not in his or her presence from 8-10 hours a day? Mothers in the workforce cannot be forever present and always quick to respond to their children. So they may try even harder than the traditional stay at home moms to fulfill the holy mother role-even more so if they didnt grow up with a stay at home mom. Employed mothers often feel guilty that they dont resemble the moms posted in magazines (Peters, 1997). A womans feelings of guilty may be a result of our culture and societys view of a mom. Mothers can cease their worries and dry their eyes because it has been proven that there are no significant negative effects of children from working mothers. There are more challenges at hand for a full time employee and mother because they have to create a routine which balances children, husband, job, errands, chores and themselves into a days schedule. A study showed that more than six out of every 10 women is in the labor force 67.5 % of mothers are employed (Love and Maclean, 2000)
A news article stated that a working mother divides her time as the following, 31% on the job, 24% with her children, 14%with her parents and/or doing chores, and 9% of time sleeping or personal time (Shellenberger, 1992). When a mother decides to join or rejoin the workforce post parent-hood, she needs to be physically and mentally ready to acquire the multi-tasks per day. This society has placed a strain on families so that a mother may be forced to work due to economic reasons for example, a single parent household or the need for both parents income. This paper will provide statistics and facts that states, although working mothers may have a more complex schedule to follow it doesnt negatively affect their child (ren).
Critical Evaluation
My first point focuses on the nutritional intake between children of mothers who work versus children who mom does not work. People have this vision of a mother in the kitchen with an apron sweating over the stove preparing a full course meal. Others may think because of a mothers job, her child or children may be deprived of a well balanced meal for an exchange of Big Macs and French fries. A study has presented findings which stated, having a working mother does not increase the odds of poor nutrition in a child (Darmouth and Anderson, 2004).
There are ways a mother can continue preparing healthy quick meals. For example, many dinners are now pre-cooked and only needs to be heated such as, a ham or roast. Over the years women became wiser and realized it doesnt take three to four hours to cook dinner or dessert. For example, instead of making a pie crust and pie filling from all the ingredients, a person can simply buy a pie crust and the filling or buy the pie already made. For families that absolutely need home cooked meals, mom could prepare it in advance on her day off and freeze it. The ability to modify a situation is characteristic mothers who are working have to obtain. The increase of maternal employees has promoted books and websites that cater to women. For example, there is a website www.momstogo.com which offers recipes based on the ingredients you have at home for quick, delicious, and nutritious meals.
My second point evaluates the intelligence between children of working mothers. It may appear as if a stay at home mother enhances her children academic ability and pays more attention to her kids academic progress. However, that may not be the case for every situation. A mother who is home during the day may feel consumed with everyones responsibilities leaving no or little time for her. She may then overlook the need to tend to her childrens academic responsibilities. A working mother is away from her home during the day and appreciates her responsibilities and children needs more. She can designate a time to review homework and schedule conferences with teachers after work, during her lunch break, via e-mail or telephone. A longitudinal study which consisted of 12,600 individuals was observed for 21 years to determine the intelligence difference between kids of parents who work versus children who parents stay at home. The study revealed that children of maternal employees presented minor differences in vocabulary and academic achievement which disappeared as the child became older (Harvey, Elizabeth 2000)
A mothers traits of high-quality parenting skills will portray regardless if she is employed or not. Just look at the fictional television show, The Cosbys where the mom was able to maintain her successful job as a lawyer and mother of five children. Although the show is fictional her strategies are real. She made time to cook dinner after work, go to games, read bed time stories, and view homework. Making adaptations to ones schedule will have to be manifested into her day. As far as for infants, toddlers, and preschoolers, a mother could select a daycare that functions in a structure curriculum for education and reinforce what ever is learned at home. The decision to allow a family member, friend, or babysitter to care for her child can include educational materials and suggestions to stimulate his or her intellectual growth.
My fourth point is the bond and attachment a mother and child share. It has been said that a working mother does not form that same closeness as a stay at home mom. David Gershaw stated, infants from employed mothers develop the same normal attachment-emotional bonding to the working mother as they do to a non working mother (2004). There are opportunities for a mother to provide her infant with breast milk even in when she is not present. The vast majority of jobs follow the Family Leave Act which grants up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave annually for employees who have or adopted a child, who are becoming foster parents, who are caring for a seriously ill relative or spouse, and/or who become seriously ill (Boone and Kurtz, 61). During that time minutes, hours, days, and even weeks of out of the womb bonding is transpiring which will continue to grow. For mothers who can not discontinue work for 12 weeks, the same bond can still be formed during the time mother and baby is together. A survey was conducted and stated that one in ten mothers spend les then ten minutes of play time or interacting with their children (Mums, 2004). This may be true due to the fact of lack of knowledge about maintaining a system of balance whether a mother is working or not.
Many employed mothers have to be innovative with ways to spend time with her children. For example, after dinner a mother could used that time to relax on the sofa while engaging in a conversation with her kids about social and life events, or watch a movie together while interacting in an open discussion. It is important for a working mother to continue building on that initial bond because children who have a close bond with their mothers are more apt to talk to her about sex, drugs, and alcohol (Children of working mothers, 2004). It is essential that a mother have weekends off or a couple days off during the week to share special time with the kids. A mother would be amazed about how much kids recognize the effort or the lack of effort she may contribute. An interview was conducted across America with kids of working mothers and a few made statements as the following, As hard as it may be, youre doing a good job and keep up the good work, 14, I appreciate you for trying to support your family, 8, Its okay to have a career as long as the parent is active in their childs life-not only in school situations, but other obstacles in life as well, 17 (Galinsky, 1999).
Supporting Arguments
One of the most effective ways for maternal employees is to develop a Work/Family balance system, which consists of planning and organizing a routine so that neither responsibility is neglected. Some options are flexible work schedules which enable mothers to attend her childrens activities. Another example is the choice to work part time. Working part-time also allows mothers to spend more time with her kids while participating in activities with them (Katepoo, 2004). Without a developed system her job, household, and everyone in the household goes inattentive due to the lack of balance. Businesses are becoming aware of the daily duties required of employed mothers so that they are making adaptations to operating hours. For example, banks and doctor offices are extending operating hours to accommodate individuals who have a complex schedule. Mothers can continue to fulfill tasks by scheduling appointments and running errands after work or on the weekends.
Working mothers are also beneficial to their children. For example, if there are two incomes a child is more than likely to have access to better schools, fewer stereotyped gender-role attitudes, view their mother as competent, have a greater internal locus of control - believing you have control over the environment rather than the environment has control over you (Gershaw, 2000). Daughters of working mothers are more achievement oriented, they set higher career goals for themselves, contains assertiveness, independence, are likely to choose their mothers as role models and they are more likely to become working mothers. Sons of working mothers are more likely to develop independent skills such as cooking and laundry (Portner, 2004). If working mothers are married they and their husbands are often more egalitarian-share responsibilities equally from completing the chores to the breadwinning role. It is more than likely that an employed mothers feelings of competence and increase self-esteem makes a more productive and meaningful relationships with their children Non working mothers particularly college graduates, tends to be over protective and are more bothered as their children grow towards independence (Portner, 2004).
Many working mothers are faced with the dilemma whether to enroll their child or children in a daycare while at work. People have stated that if a parent enrolls her child in a daycare facility then she is allowing someone else to raise her child. However, people never made that statement about school age children (5-18 years old) who attends school ~7 hours a day. One feminist group stated children who are not exposed to other care givers besides maternal are at a disadvantage. Dr. Sandra Scott a known day care researcher stated the following, babies have no particular need for biological mothers that they flourish by having numerous caregivers, and the maternal instinct is the result of cultural conditioning (OBierne, 2003). A child may also have less sick days in grade school because of the exposure to other kids at daycare.
Most instructors have an educational background which can indeed teach a child a more structured curriculum than an average parent. Children in daycare can also learn social interaction with others besides family members such as, sharing with others. A child that is starting grade school can make a better transition from daycare to grade school versus home to grade school. Working mothers can have the assurance that although her child may be in daycare that doesnt undermined her parental skills or her love for her child. Generations have changed and so is everything else. A parent in the 21st century is just as equal as or even better than a parent in the previous centuries because they are more open and verbal about issues which were once tabooed.
In conclusion, this paper is not to judge which type of children are better however, it is to allow people to become aware that some childrens problems doesnt result in the mother employment status. When compared to children of stay at home moms there were no difference in anxiety, incidence of antisocial behavior, or complaints of stress-related disorders-headaches, upset stomachs, and so on (Gershaw, 2000). So a mom can work a nine to five and come home to kids who view her as perfect because of her control over her hectic life. The study and facts presented no significant difference in nutrition intake, intelligence, or bond-attachment from mothers who work outside the home.
I too am an advocate for moms who are working. I have experienced the overwhelming life which included, school full time, work over 30 hours a week, and provided care for two children without any physical help. My kids were never deprived from any scholastic or extracurricular activities because of the balance I maintained for years. They are now one of the smartest kids in their class with excellent social skills. Not only have the daycare contribute to their present status but I reinforced their abilities and made time out of my chaotic schedule to stop and read to them or to give them a back rub. I just it is true, woman can wear the skirt and the pants too.
